Sunday, November 24, 2013

Hidden Diabetes In Pictures


I was browsing through pictures last night, and of course, my mind started reeling.  I began to think about our life before Diabetes invaded.  I remember, but it's almost like another life ago...a movie I once saw...because Diabetes is so consuming.  And, I remember...
Approximately 28 weeks pregnant with the twins
I was so excited to be having twins, yet so very nervous.  I was already on "modified bedrest" by this point, and I did all I could to carry these babies as long as possible. Despite the discomfort, inconvenience and sometimes misery, I knew carrying them as long as possible was critical for their health and development.  I was willing to sacrifice everything for their well-being.

Hospital photo, about to have the twins at almost 36 weeks gestation.  I was elated to be a Mommy two!  I was already in love. My abdomen was the size of a 300-lb man!

Asa in the NICU.  5# 2 oz. I knew he was mine the minute I saw him because he looked like a shrunken Jerry lying in the bed.  Giant eyes, tiny nose, blonde.  I pointed him out before they told me which babies were mine.
Aiden after birth in the NICU.  He was 5-3 and ironically, had to stay longer in the NICU because of unstable blood sugars.  After scaring the life out of Jerry by not breathing right initially, he had lots to say by this point!
Ready to go home at 3 1/2 days old.  Scrawny but scrappy and healthy. How were we to know they were already laced with the genetic predispostion towards an autoimmune response.  They were wired for T1D. 
Age 3 weeks.  Growing with the good booby juice, still bald with giant eyes!
Age 3 months.  Asa in blue.  Not impressed with the photo session.
Age One.  They were so cute, and we had to work so hard to tell them apart even though we were assured they were fraternal.  At this age, we did a genetic test and found they were indeed identical. I thought it would be important for them to know medically, and little did I know how right I was!
18 months old.  There was no shortage of energy or mischief with this cute duo!

I teared up when I saw this picture.  Asa on the left looks JUST like Jerry's kid photos!  He couldn't deny them if he tried.  They were 3, and so full of life and energy.  
Fall, around age 4.  Little did we know Diabetes was lurking in a dark corner of their bodies wearing its Invisibility Cloak.  He was waiting for just the right cue to strike.
Momma's boys, age 5. I never cease to be amazed at how much they look like Jerry, like I had little to no genetic contribution, and how Aiden has such a similar personality as his Daddy.  They may look like Daddy, but Mommy is #1!
Spring of 2012, in First Grade.  Aiden was diagnosed right around this time. How could we have known the genetic Hurricane that was in full swing inside his tiny body.

We hoped Asa would dodge this genetic bullet but feared the inevitable because they are genetically the same.  The weather patterns were about to develop into that same storm.
Aiden, Feb 2012, in the hospital at diagnosis.  I never realized how thin and ill he looked because it happened so gradually.  He still had the energy to smile and all I could do was cry.
Five months later, Asa was in the same boat.  Seeing brother go through this and his trusted teddy bear, Vanilla, helped make the transition smoother

Two handsome boys on their 8th birthday, Oct 2012.  In another day and time, they may not have lived to see this day.
Crashing in the same bed, making night blood sugar checks even more tricky!
Their first Christmas with Diabetes, 2012.  Santa brought them pancreases.  What the real Santa wouldn't do to make that possible!
I cried a lot this day.  Aiden's One-year Diaversary.  One year living with this craptastic disease.  We celebrated his bravery, his strength and resolve with Ice Cream.  In your face, Diabetes!  Around this time, I started my book.  

Growing bigger and stronger by the day.  Summer 2013. Learning more and mastering more by the day, but we still know we are only co-directors of this show.  Diabetes has the top spot. Aiden has gained almost 20 pounds since diagnosis.

Celebrating Asa's One-Year Diaversary!  Ice Cream and a new toy for him, too!

So Happy that I still get to have my baby in my life.  I'll deal with whatever just to keep him. Asa is my silly-heart, and he often reminds me of myself when I was a child.  I love him so much.

Over a year in. And now, we're NINE!  Where has the time gone?

I feel nostalgic every time I see a little blonde-haired girl with pigtails and curls, and I wonder where all the time has gone. I can remember my daughter like that like it was yesterday. 

 I see platinum blonde little boys with blue eyes, and I am reminded how small my Kyle once was. He now is bigger and heavier than me.  

I look back at pictures of Jace, and I remember how elated we were to have our own baby.  Now, at age 10, he's as tall as my shoulder.  I remember when we thought he would be the last one.

And, when I look at my "baby" twins, I remember how I loved watching them grow together.  I love watching their bond.  And, I wish I could more clearly remember the times without Diabetes.  For the first 7 years of their lives, they lived shot-free.  Unless a cure is found, they'll live the majority of their life with this burden.  Humbling.

But, hey!  Weren't they stinkin' cute?


1 comment:

  1. OMG!!!! They were & still are too stinking cute!!!