Manage vs. Control
I keep seeing or hearing people write or ask about “controlling”
diabetes.
“You’ll get control of it”
“Do you have it under control yet?”
I know I’m about to launch into a semantics debate, but it’s
bugging me. We don’t control diabetes;
it controls us. However, we can and do
learn to manage this beastly disease.
There IS a difference.
According to Dictionary.com:
“Manage” is defined as ‘to
bring about or succeed in accomplishing, sometimes despite difficulty or hardship’ and ‘to take charge or care of’.
“Control” is defined as ‘to
dominate’ or ‘to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or
spread of’.
I really should stop right
there. Enough said, right? But, no.
I’m not one to hold my tongue if I’m passionate about something. Just ask my friends J
You see, as a T1D parent, I cannot ‘control’
diabetes. I cannot dominate it; I cannot
(much to my chagrin) prevent it from flourishing or spreading. I can, however, ‘manage’ this craptastic
disease to the best of my ability. I can
try to ‘accomplish’ ideal blood glucose numbers ‘despite difficulty and
hardship’. I can ‘take charge’ and ‘take
care’ of my boys and their condition to the best of my ability. I can manage their day-to-day life so that I
worry about diabetes, they worry about being kids. Every day is different. Every day is new. And, I am in control of none of it!
At work, I manage people. We work
together. I try to positively influence
them into performing the best work possible.
Most nights it works well. At no
point in time, however, do I ever control them.
They are intelligent autonomous creatures who can buck in a minute! Whatever is going on in their worlds can
impact how they perform, despite my best efforts.
Much the same, I can manage a patient
textbook perfect, but Mother Nature controls the ultimate course of life! Like Diabetes, I can do everything perfectly,
I can manage perfectly, but there are factors I cannot control that impact the
outcome.
At home, I manage children. Positive and negative reinforcement. Discipline and consequences. Trying to get five boys to do their chores,
do their homework, not fight, not scratch themselves in front of their mother, and
bathe appropriately is no easy task, but I MANAGE. I’m not foolish enough to think I control
because they all have great stubborn will and autonomy,
and they will “forget” (conveniently), be moody, and argue if so inclined. Scratch away, they will! I can manage the
situation, I cannot control their wills.
Some days, no amount of bribery, positive reinforcement or persuasion
can convince them to cooperate.
Same thing with Diabetes. I manage it.
I work with food, insulin, glucose meters and logic (Sorcery, Science,
Math, and Voodoo) in attempts to yield the best results possible. Unfortunately, diabetes is a petulant child.
I can sweet-talk, bribe, and make promises, but it will NOT be controlled. One
day, Diabetes will respond to my efforts, the next day, it won’t. As a matter
of fact, if D thinks I’m getting the upper hand, he will fight back in his
ardent refusal to be controlled. Diabetes
gives ME positive and negative reinforcements. Diabetes scratches his privates in front of me on a regular basis! Diabetes will cooperate one day,
but refuse to play by the rules the next day.
Diabetes is an invisible foe who hides around corners and
sneaks up behind you when you’re not looking. Diabetes will give you the
illusion of control, but ultimately, D is in control! (We’ve had a decent week of numbers, so I’m just
waiting for Diabetes to resume ‘control’ of the situation and make me work to ‘manage’
it all over again!).
So, until a cure is found, neither
my boys, Jerry, nor I will ever control the situation. Instead, we’ll attempt to manage it.
Off my soap box. (Should I get started about ‘your vs. you’re’? Their vs. They’re vs. There?)
Rhonda
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