4th Grade Austin Field Trip
When I was a kid, periodically, parents would attend the
field trips with their kids. My mom was
so pretty and I loved showing her off (I wanted my peers to know this ugly
duckling had potential!), so I always wished she would go. But, life gets in
the way and she was never able.
Since I have a flexible schedule, I try to attend any and
all field trips with my kids whenever possible.
I couldn’t attend a lot of Courtney’s because I had “baby Kyle”, but I
did go to some. Unfortunately for Kyle, I wasn’t able to go to most of his elementary
field trips because I had babies who were not allowed to attend. We didn’t have day care; my husband and I
alternated schedules to keep our babies in our primary care. It worked, but
there were sacrifices that had to be made to make it work. (Sorry, Kyle! I promise I love you just as much!)
There are no younger babies, so I’m able to go, now, to
most of Jace and the twins’ field trips.
And, now, I’m semi-required (as well, I choose) to go to manage my boys’
diabetes. By law, the school has to provide someone who can manage
their diabetes so they aren’t discriminated against. I don’t think it’s fair to request the school
nurse go which would take her away from the entire student body. (Heck, maybe she’d like to go and get a day
off! Who knows?) I don’t feel comfortable having a “designated person” to
manage them who really doesn’t know them, their routine, or the intricacies of
their care. I digress. Anyways, I’ve made every effort to attend
with my boys because I like the time with them, I hope they cherish the
memories that THEIR Mommy went to field trips, and I really am the best
diabetes care-giver for them. I know
them best. I am their pancreases.
I was selected to go to the fourth grade field trip to
Austin. From 0630 to 8pm, I belonged to
Jace, the elementary school, and the fourth grade. I have to be very conscientious to not let
Diabetes dictate my life and take away from the non-diabetic kids. I made
alternate emergency arrangements for my diabetic twins, and Daddy would be home
when they got home from school.
But, here’s what a T1D Mom goes through. My boys have a great age-appropriate
understanding of their disease. We have
a fabulous REGISTERED NURSE school nurse who really cares about my boys. My husband is fantastic with them. But, as we got further away from Burleson, my
anxiety level increased. On any given
day, I’m within a few minutes from the school, a cell phone call away, to
respond to any type of emergency or any of their needs. WHAT if my babies needed me? WHAT if there was an emergency? It’s not happened yet, but Murphy’s Law would
demand it happen on the day I’m hundreds of miles away with no means to hurry
back if needed. I felt vulnerable and out of control. I tried and tried, but I couldn’t fight it
off. Big giant crocodile tears just
started falling. Drop. Drop.
Drop. I texted my husband just to
vent how I was feeling. He was
reassuring, of course, but the tears continued to fall.
I felt like a crazy woman.
I didn’t want Jace to see me crying.
This was HIS Mommy-time. I didn’t
want any of the other adults to see my tears.
I had to dab my eyes, take a deep breath, and pray. This is my life now. Too afraid to venture too far unless I know
they are in caring and capable hands.
Scared to death something will happen to them. Frightened they will need their Mommy and she
won’t be accessible. I didn’t exhale
until my husband told me he was home.
Then, I knew it was all ok.
The trip was well-organized, well-planned, and Mrs. Boyd
and I had 5 cool kids in our Group FIVE.
It was cool to see things I hadn’t seen before (or don’t remember
seeing) and helping the kids learn.
The day was llllooooonnnngggggg. As I’ve seen on many field trips, most of the
kids are alright, but occasionally someone
has to act out. This time, MY kid. Yep! JUST what I needed as I was just
recovering from my heavy heart.
I love my son. He’s
such a cool music-loving kid. He’s highly intelligent, and loves video games
and computers. He is painfully shy. But, he’s wicked stubborn and can be
temperamental. He has ADHD and is fantastic when his meds are active. When they wear off, the over-talkativeness,
impulsiveness, attitude returns. So, the
day was getting long, everyone was getting tired, and we were hurrying through
the remaining TX History Museum exhibits so they at least got to glimpse each
display. The kids were answering questions in a booklet, and we were helping them
find (and spell) the answers. Jace was getting tired and distracted. At one
point, he mouthed off and his little classmate even said, “Jace, don’t
disrespect your mother!” I was handling
it and keeping my cool well.
Well, Mr. My-ADHD Meds-Have-Worn-Off decided I was clearly
moving too quickly and not repeating myself enough times when I helped spell
simple words like CLAM and TREE TRUNK (words he clearly knows how to spell, but
he wanted to be contrary). Since I’m
Mommy, he can push and test (I hope and pray he would not have done this to
someone else if I wasn’t present!). So, he pulled “A Jace”. Arms folded.
Foot stomped. Refusing to do what
was asked of him.
Back up a bit, at parent-teacher conference a couple
of months ago, his teachers and I described two very different boys. For them, he’s kind, quiet, obedient. He keeps to himself. He’s like Jerry and me where we don’t let
others in easily, but if we know you, we’ll talk your head off. So, he’s comfortable and loved at home, and
he’s a screaming ninny. I’m very glad he’s
good at school, but I wish he’d carry that to home every day, too! Now, back to
the story.
I was terribly embarrassed and became quickly
frustrated. His teacher took over for a
few minutes while I used the restroom. I
told her, “THIS is what I’m talking about!
You get to see the real Jace!” Probably not my finest moment, but I was
frustrated. We got on the bus where the attitude continued. I HAD to find a solution to this problem or
it was going to be a LONG ride back home!
I told him his behavior was embarrassing to both of us and
inappropriate. There were other and
better ways from him to handle his frustration; I could’ve reviewed the answers
with him on the bus. (Our pace didn’t
seem to be bothering the other children at all). Regardless, I pulled out the Kindle
Fire. I plugged in the headphones. I started playing some Bon Jovi. I gave him an earbud. Within a minute or two, you could feel the
tension diminishing. You could see him
relax and change his attitude. We were BOTH getting a little dope for our
souls. It's what we both needed. At that moment, I KNEW this was
MY son! A little Bon Jovi makes it all
better!
Overall, it was a good trip…once I got passed the aching,
worrying heart and the late-day attitude.
I’m going to make Jerry go with me when the twins reach 4th
grade.
Rhonda
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