Blow Me One Last Kiss

Blow Me One Last Kiss

2/23/2013

I love music. A good song takes me to a better place, another time.  Music is fun, it’s therapeutic, it’s cathartic.  A catchy tune, sultry voices, sound musicians, relatable lyrics…One alone or all together can make or break a song.  Songs are real, poetry from someone’s soul.  They are glimpses into life, love, relationships…and what’s better than one you can completely relate to?  One you’ve “lived” yourself?

 Now, anyone who knows me knows I LOVE me some Bon Jovi (for all of the above reasons, and JBJ is sweet eye candy, but I digress). Bon Jovi isn’t the only band, genre or music I enjoy.  I love me some George Strait, Tim McGraw, Matchbox Twenty, Maroon 5, Pink, Adele, Daughtry…the list goes on.  Point being, I’m not a “one trick” pony.  Bon Jovi IS my FAVORITE, but I do like other stuff, but NONE of this has anything to do with the point of this blog.

While enjoying my PiNK CD “The Truth About Love”, the songs “Blow Me One Last Kiss” and “Try” have really spoken to me.  These songs are about love and relationships. Many songs describes parts of my relationship with my fabulous husband, Jerry, but more so, good portions of these songs describe my relationship my arch nemesis, Diabetes.  Look through a new set of glasses, listen a bit differently.  The lyrics are meaningful if you think about them in this new light.

White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight

Clenched shut jaw, I've got another headache again tonight

Eyes on fire, eyes on fire, and they burn from all the tears

I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you

Tie a knot in the rope, tryin' to hold, tryin' to hold,

But there's nothing to grasp so I let go

I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much

I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)

You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit

My head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)

Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day

(NO!)Have you had a shit day? (NO!), We've had a shit day (NO!)

I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss

I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss…

I have had enough, but he’s going nowhere. I think constantly about this stupid disease and anything I can do to improve my relationship with him and/or my boys. I’ve shed way too many tears about Diabetes. Mr. Diabetes is “full of S*&!”, and some days I think it can’t get worse, but it does. Unfortunately, I can’t blow Diabetes one last kiss and expect him to go away. He’s an abusive stalking lover who won’t leave no matter what.  I’ll never get back my ignorance and bliss. So, until a cure is found and I can’t blow him one last kiss…

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

I have the desire to manage and defeat this disease, but his flame is big and strong. There are days the fatigue feels fatal, but I keep getting up.  I get burned, trying, trying to do my best. Until my boys are big, until a cure is found, I HAVE to get up and try.  I have to fight back against this stupid disease; I can’t win; I’ll keep getting burned, but I won’t stop fighting.  I’ll try, and try, and try.

Rhonda