1/25/08
My baby girl turned
Sweet 16 on Tuesday. I am so proud of
her, but it is also a bittersweet moment.
This milestone leaves me reveling in memories.
We celebrated on Sunday
with her friends by all getting pedicures or manicures. As a surprise, a limousine picked us up from
the salon and transported us to dinner.
Her friends titled me "Officially the Coolest Mom in the
World!" We had a nice dinner at an upscale Mexican restaurant, and the
limousine picked us back up for a "night on the town". We rode to Dallas where we cruised downtown
blowing hooters and shooting confetti poppers out the window, and we encouraged
complete strangers to wish Courtney a happy birthday. We also celebrated with singing and dancing
in the limousine and had a sparkling cider toast. I think all the girls had a really good time,
and it was all I imagined for her.
Now for the
memories. I was "sweet 16" (16
½ actually) when I got pregnant with Courtney.
I fell for a blue-eyed football jock (I've always been a sucker for blue
eyes), and eleven months later, Courtney was born. When I found out I was pregnant, I prayed to
God she was a girl. I had always wanted
children, and I so desperately wanted a daughter. Even though she was what she was by that
point, I bargained with God and told Him if he made this child a girl, all my
other children could be boys. I just really wanted a daughter. God answered my prayers and held me to my
promise J
Courtney was born a
healthy eight pounds and delivered after pushing for only three
contractions. She came out screaming and
hollering and kicking her baby fat legs.
Everyone was talking to her, but she continued to scream. When they
handed her to me, she still cried. Then,
I spoke to her, and she instantly hushed and turned her head to my voice. It was one of the most magical moments in my
life and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. When I'm 100 with Alzheimer's, I think I'll
still remember that! Instant bonding.
I was 17 at the time of
her birth and I lived at home with my parents, but Courtney was MY baby. My parents did an awesome job of assisting me
and giving advice when I needed it, but she was mine and her care was left up
to me. While still in high school, I got
up in the middle of the night for feedings.
I changed diapers, bathed, dressed.
I worked to pay for her needs. I took her anywhere I went. I admit I
couldn't have done it without my parents (or Courtney's father's help), but she
was my responsibility, she was my baby girl!
Courtney was a beautiful
blonde-haired blue-eyed baby who brought sunshine to whomever she
encountered. I marveled in her growth
and development and enjoyed every minute of her babyhood. She was calm, happy, complacent.
I married her father and
moved out when she was two, and we started a new chapter of our lives
together. Our marriage was rough to say
the least, but I always had Courtney's cute smile and blonde curls to cheer me
up and keep me going. When we finally
split for good when she was seven (and after baby brother arrived), Courtney
adjusted well. Equally important, she
accepted the love of my life into her life when the divorce was still so
fresh. It was like as long as she had
her Momma, she was okay. As long as I
had her, I was okay.
Courtney has been a
source of entertainment (as any child is).
I have stories of her embarrassing me in Wal-Mart ("I said….what's
that on your face?"). She hoarded
her lunch money in first grade in order to buy fruit roll-ups, which made her teacher
think we were on "welfare lunches".
I found long blonde locks on my carpet from where she'd cut her own
hair. She danced, did gymnastics and
played soccer and softball, and I was there cheering her on in all of them.
Whatever it took to make her smile!
When I was pregnant with
Courtney, I educated myself about babies and parenting so that I would do as
good a job as I could. Coupled with my
babysitting experience, it served me well.
Now that those baby days are over, I strive to teach her about being
conservative, articulate, educated, independent, assertive…teach her about
being a strong woman.
I marvel at how much she
looks like me (except she does have some of her Daddy and she's WAY cuter!),
and I am amazed at how similar our personalities are. Equally so, I am
proud of our differences, especially the choices we've made for our
lives. She is level-headed and secure with a strong self-esteem which I
certainly lacked to some degree which led to me getting pregnant at
sixteen. I can honestly say no other "mistake" in my life has
turned out so well!
God could not have given
me a better daughter, and I am so proud of the young lady she has become. However, it doesn't mean this milestone isn't
bittersweet as I watch my only baby girl grow into a woman and be less and less
dependent upon me. I encourage her to spread her wings and fly, but cringe and
want to yank her back into my nest. I
miss those long blonde curls and holding my hand in the store, yet I long for
the days when I am done "parenting" her and can just be her
friend. I pray she is happy and
independent but doesn't venture too far from her Momma who loves and needs her so much. However, I will support and embrace whatever
path she chooses for her life.
Courtney, you are a
beautiful, smart and talented young lady who has brought me pure joy in my
life. I love you!
Momma
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