Stick Shift
8/7/13
When I got my Drivers’ Learning Permit at age 15, my dad
taught me to drive a “stick shift”, a manual transmission. Several hard stops, stalled engines, and bouts
of whiplash later, I got the hang of it. That’s how I learned. Learn the hard way first, then the “easy” way
is so much easier and more comfortable! However, driving an automatic is so
much easier, and it’s what I prefer. Despite
learning to shift a manual transmission, I chose an automatic car. The one brief time I had an “stick shift”
car, I HATED it, and quickly reverted back to an automatic. But, being able to
drive a manual transmission vehicle is a skill I cherish and one that has
served me well in this life. Frankly,
driving a stick shift is practically impossible with kids is tow as I typically
have one hand on the wheel, and the other hand adjusting the radio, handling
trash, air-drumming to Bon Jovi, or refereeing a fight, but I digress.
I will always choose an automatic transmission.
When my boys were born, their pancreases were
automatic. Carbohydrates in, insulin
out. Much like driving that automatic
transmission vehicle, there was little thought involved in the process. We aimed to put healthy stuff in, good
insulin out. Their “engines” adjusted to all extrinsic factors that impact
processing carbohydrates. Activity, diet,
age, growth, heat, etc. At age 7,
however, their automatic “transmissions” broke, and we had to revert to
manual. My dad may have taught me to
operate a manual transmission, but nobody taught me how to be a manual
pancreas. And, much like learning to
drive that stick shift, there have been some bumps, hard stops, and bouts of
whiplash in learning to be a manual pancreas…times two. The best mechanic can’t overhaul these
transmissions!
Now I press the clutch (calculate insulin), and the amount I
have to press varies over the course of the day and increases over time. It’s up to me to figure out how much and when
an adjustment is needed. Then, I add the gas (carbohydrates, protein &
fat). Too much makes their engine rev to
a dangerous level (hyperglycemia), and too little makes them stall out
(hypoglycemia). When the combo of gas
and clutch is just right, we can switch gears and move about our day! As with any engine, other factors can impact
how that car drives. Heat, type of gas
(type and quality of diet), mileage (age of the child and length of disease),
changing the oil (new pumps, new sites, new insulin vials), heavy usage
(exercise), and low fluids (dehydration).
Despite having the right gas and clutch combo, any of these can cause
the engine to rev or stall. My job is to
figure out which one is the culprit.
I’ve just completed two “first years” of diabetes. Being a nurse, I had a basic foundational
knowledge of Type One Diabetes, but that was it. Being a healthcare provider did not prepare
me for the daily ins and outs of being a pancreas to two little growing active
boys. It didn’t prepare me for the
crippling worry that accompanies this disease.
It didn’t prepare me for the sleep deprivation, which is Diabetes’
parental torture tactic. Nursing school
didn’t prepare me for the ignorant remarks that well-meaning others say. Being a nurse didn’t prevent my mommy heart
from breaking
in two when I heard the words, “He has Diabetes”….twice.
And, it didn’t prepare me to forever be on the stick shift.
Now, I am stuck on this “stick shift”. I stick.
I stick fingers. I stick
toes. I stick tummies, arms, and
legs. I stick pumps on. I stick in the morning, afternoon, evening,
and middle of the night. I stick in daylight
and dark. I stick awake and half-asleep. I stick.
And, until a cure is found, I’ll be stuck on the stick shift, manually
shifting their transmissions, waiting, hoping, and praying that someday, they
can go back to automatic! I’ve learned
and semi-mastered the hard manual way; can we go back to the easy automatic way
now? Please?
Help us support JDRF in finding a cure today!
Rhonda
Great post!
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