Diabetes Blog
Challenge Week #1:
Share and Don’t Share
I work in
healthcare, and although I can understand a plethora of medical conditions, I
cannot fully understand what it’s like to live every one.
I never knew how
helpless a parent felt when their baby was in the NICU until my twins were in
there. I never knew how much a C-Section
hurt until I had one (not that that would stop me from being up in 8
hours). I’ll never know what it’s like
to have Gestational Hypertension. I’ll
never know what it’s like to lose a fetus.
I can “nurse” any patient under any condition, some times better than
others, but I’ll never really know unless I’ve walked in their shoes. The things I have experienced have made me a
more empathetic nurse, but I can never fully “know” it all.
Quarterly, my sons
have to visit the Endocrinologist.
Quarterly, these healthcare professionals get a glimpse into my life. It’s
just a glimpse. Just like I work with
pregnant women and newborn babies every working day, I'm only getting a 'snapshot' into their entire world. They work with Type One
Diabetes every working day. But, at the
end of the day, they get to go home and think about other things. No fault of their own, but most do not
understand what it’s like to live with this beast every minute of every hour of
every day. They are only getting a snapshot of our busy, crazy, hectic, beautiful world.
Beyond the smiling
faces of my cute boys; beyond the weights and measurements; beyond the numbers
on the last two weeks chart; beyond that dreaded “Mommy Report Card”, the
Hemoglobin A1C…there’s so much more. I
wish they could see how Diabetes takes a piece of almost every facet of our
lives.
1. When we wake up, the first thing we do is
make sure our children are alive. *poke, poke*
2. Get ready for school, check the morning
blood sugar, eat breakfast.
3. Once breakfast is selected, now Daddy and I
have to THINK about breakfast. What is
he eating? How much of it is he
eating? How is this particular meal
likely to influence his blood glucose for the next few hours? Did he finish his meal? (All the while, someone has to feed the dogs,
clean up, referee the fights, and get themselves ready for another day). Voodoo, Science, Math and Luck. Dose insulin.
4. Put the boys on the bus and hope they don’t
crash before they get to school. (Fortunately this has never happened on the
way to school. *knock on wood*)
5. While they’re at school, Daddy goes to
work, and Mommy does any multitude of things:
Go to the gym (and wonder how their sugar is); Go to the store (and
consider Diabetes on every aisle); Pay Bills; Go to the Pharmacy (to pick up
Diabetes medications and supplies); Make calls; Run Errands; Work on
fundraising for our JDRF Team; Sleep for the night shift I’ll work that night.
6. At 2:55, the boys are released from school,
and I impatiently watch the clock until they get home. I hope they don’t drop their sugar on the bus
(they have provisions in their backpacks in case). I won’t relax until they are safely back in
my “nest”.
7. Wait, with baited breath, to get the
coveted email from the school nurse. It’s
a mini-report card. How’d we do dosing
for breakfast? How are our basal and
bolus rates working while they are at school?
How was their Diabetes Day at School?
Jot all the numbers down on the clipboard, and try to make sense of it
all. *It’s an exercise in futility*
8. Chores, Homework, Playtime. Get dinner planned and prepared. As I cook, I jot down the carb count of each
serving of each item on the “menu” so I can keep a running tally while the boys
eat. Of note, since I’m now the
Mathematician Waitress, I don’t eat until they’re done.
9. Playtime.
Clean. Showers. Let them be “children” while I wrap my brain around it
all.
10. Bedtime blood sugar check and snack. To dose or not to dose? That is the question.
11. Once the boys are in bed, that’s Mommy
& Daddy time. Time to decompress, be
a husband and wife. The length of this
time is determined by fatigue level and the last glucose level. See, Diabetes dictates when and how much
sleep we can get. There’s no such thing as ‘going to bed early’ anymore without
an alarm set to interrupt said sleep.
Murphy’s Law: The more fatigued I
am, the crappier the blood sugar will be…demanding I stay up even later or get
up more frequently.
12. At our bedtime, another sugar check. Gear up with Spelunker light on head (*very
sexy, I may add*). Try to figure out
which boy is which since they like to play switch-a-roo on us. Insulin one, carb another. Don't mix the two up! Plan the next time to get up to recheck
depending on the readings.
13. What?
Sleep all night? Don’t make me
laugh! Get up heifer, and make sure your
boys don’t need anything else….more insulin?
More carbs at 0200? Drop back in
bed, hopefully, for a very few more hours.
14. 0545.
Start all over again.
I wish they could
see how our hands are now tied since our babysitting options are severely
limited. I wish they could see how managing ONE diabetic is difficult, but managing TWO is formidable! I wish they could see how seriously I take every meal. I wish they could see how much I worry. I wish they could see how hard I try. Surely if they could, I could get a “handicap”
or bonus points on that A1C.
I’m glad they don’t
see me cry (*wait, yes they have. I fell
apart 2 visits ago!*) I’m glad they don’t
see me get frustrated and angry. I’m
glad they don’t see the dark circles under my eyes and crazy hair at 0200. Mostly, I’m glad most of them don’t have to
live with this because it’s not something I’d wish on my worst enemy.
To know
scientifically and medically “know” a condition, it’s very easy to advise. It’s easy to make suggestions. It’s easy to judge when you’ve never walked
in someone else’s shoes. I’m guilty of
it myself when I give the SAME lecture EVERY shift about the importance of adequate
WATER intake in pregnancy.
Looking at the “glimpse”
of our lives doesn’t tell the entire story.
It’s only a facet of who we are and what we do to keep our boys healthy,
thriving and alive.
